25 Nov How Can We Honor Our Loved Ones on Thanksgiving Day?

If your family has lost a loved one in the last year, you may be wondering how your Thanksgiving Day will go. Will you be able to celebrate? Will you feel a heaviness all day? Will you be in a Thanksgiving mood at all?

Though loss and grief are universal, the ways in which we experience and process loss and grief are extremely personal. For this reason, no one can tell you with any certainty what you will feel on Thanksgiving Day this year. But it’s important to know that whatever you’re feeling now and as Thanksgiving draws closer, those feelings are ok. You are ok. Your feelings are yours and that alone means that they are not wrong. We can’t really help how we feel about our loss most of the time. Grief is a journey we must go through, experience, process and grow from.

If you’re heavy-hearted this Thanksgiving season, know that–though it’s not fun to hear–time really does lead to healing, especially if we allow ourselves to process our grief and not repress our feelings. During the holidays, finding ways to remember and honor our loved ones who have passed can bring us a sense of peace and joy. Honoring our loved ones that have gone on can make their absence a little more palatable during the holidays. Here are just a few ideas for ways to do just that.

• Light a special candle to symbolize your loved one’s presence in your heart. You can choose to light the candle in private, or you can make it part of a memorial ceremony with your family gathered around before you begin to celebrate the day.

Credit: Candles.org

• If you are hosting Thanksgiving, prepare your loved one’s favorite dish as a way of remembering him or her. This can also work if you aren’t hosting, but you are bringing a dish to share with the family. When sharing the dish, also share that it was your loved one’s favorite and that you prepared it as a way of honoring his or her memory.
• Write a note to your loved one and attach it to a helium-filled balloon (perhaps in your loved one’s favorite color). Then release the balloon into the sky on Thanksgiving Day, either in private, or with other loved ones gathered around you as a way of expressing your gratitude for all your loved one shared with you, taught you and meant to you.

Credit: TopTenz

• Visit your loved one’s gravesite the week of Thanksgiving. Bring a harvest-inspired wreath or flowers with which to adorn the headstone or site. Spend a few moments quietly reflecting on all your loved one meant to you and on all the things about him or her for which you are grateful.
• Include a framed photo(s) of your loved one as part of your Thanksgiving décor whether on your mantle or on the Thanksgiving meal table.
• Set up a small “memory table” in your home. On Thanksgiving Day when your family gathers together, ask them to write down a few words or share a story they remember about that loved one on slips of paper you’ve provided at the table. Read these aloud later during the day.
• Consider attending a memorial service hosted by the funeral home that served your family’s needs. If your loved one was receiving hospice care when he or she passed, remember that bereavement care is available for 13 months after the passing. Hospice agencies and funeral homes often hold holiday memorial services to honor those they’ve served over the last months. These very special remembrance services can bring a sense of peace to you as you celebrate the life of your loved one.

Credit: Vox

• Contact the hospice agency to see how you can volunteer during the holidays. There is immense peace and even a joy that can be found by serving others. If you’re not yet at the point in your grieving process at which you feel comfortable volunteering with hospice staff or hospice patients, look for volunteer opportunities in other capacities. Giving of ourselves is soothing and healing. While bringing peace to our hearts, volunteering can bring joy and comfort to another’s heart as well.
• Make a list of all the things about your loved one for which you are most thankful. Keep your list private or read all or a part of it to other family members. They may want to add to your list with memories they have about your loved one as well.
• If weather and climate permit, consider planting a tree in your front yard or backyard to serve as a living reminder of the unending love you have in your heart for your loved one.
• Set a place at the Thanksgiving table where your loved one would have been seated. Leave the chair empty during the meal as a reminder that though your loved one is gone, your memory and love for him or her has not.

Credit: Pottery Barn

Are there ways in which you’re planning to honor your loved one this Thanksgiving? Share your ideas with us in the comments section below.